“Getting in contact with a guide of sorts.
Lica B Browne helped me with a metaphysical problem I was having for years, but had only begun to recognise. I want to preface the next few hundred words by saying that I do not have gender dysphoria, nor am I trans. It will become clearer in a few moments what I mean by that.
I have had ongoing issues wondering if I was from this century. Ever since I was a child, I had wondered if I was older than I appeared to be, which led to some issues behaving as a child, and on occasions, scaring my mother. I had also wondered if I was a boy. I felt more like what I thought a boy would feel like, and was not at all attracted to stereotypical girl things. Now, I know I was a tomboy at heart, and that’s something I have never grown out of, which I not unhappy about. I am who I am, and I’m comfortable with that.
Yet it something remained as I grew older. I would always love things that were attributable to male sensibilities, but it felt like I was two people. I felt I was carrying someone around in my head. Sometimes, I would head for the gents instead of the ladies, and would picture in my head how I was going to use a urinal. Which is ridiculous. While it doesn’t take a genius to figure out how to use a urinal, I had never used one, and had no reason to ever use one. It was a strange thing. It felt like sometimes, I had put on a man suit, and I was going to be a man today. That’s just one small example. There were others. I had gotten used to it. It was strange, but so much a part of my life, I had stopped questioning it.
Until I was in my early thirties, I began to wonder at this is a somewhat serious way. I wondered if I was indeed carrying someone around with me. In my own way, I began to question my own thoughts. I had taken up meditation, which causes a lot of issues to arise, and had been through some rather harsh life experiences, for which meditation was helping me cope. I came to what was going on with me. I had never questioned that I was woman. I have never wanted to change my sex, and yet sometimes, I felt like a man, maybe walking down the street. I am reasonably androgynous in appearance, and was used to some confusion, but then again, this world is what it is, and other people are never looking at you, just certain indicators.
I approached Lica about getting in touch with my guides. I had come to the conclusion that my life was a bit directionless and I had this other in my head, and I wanted to sort it out. I thought, if I’m not mad, and this thing is real, then I’m not entirely sure a counsellor or psychiatrist could help me with this. I feared judgement, and the automatic labelling of something I am not. It was a nuanced issues, and I needed a nuances, judgement free solution. I have attended counselling for other issues, so I knew that I could get help for other problems I was having, but I felt this needed a different mind-set. A different approach from the mainstream.
Little did I know what would happen. While ostensibly, Lica was helping me with getting in contact with my guides, what happened is I got in contact with the man, yes, the man, in my head. His name is William, and he was who I was in a past life. During the session with Lica, which must have taken place a year ago by now, I met the person I was. During that session, information poured into my head about past lives and lineages of people and an aspect of universal design. I’m still unpacking a lot of it. Lica was by my side guiding me through the experience the whole time. She allowed for the space to be created where William and I could communicate. I was able to talk to him, and allowed him to apologise for being inside me for so long. To make a long story short, he had gotten stuck in there. Freewill allows for mistakes, apparently. In another session, a good while later with Lica, I would learn more about this. At this time, it was a relief to have some understanding of the issue. I managed to release him out of my psyche. I have a funny sort of distant relationship with him now. He is sort of a guide, and there are still some echoes of him in my mind. But a space has been cleared, thanks to Lica, for me to get on with a lot of things. I had not realised how much space William had taken up.
This is not something I could have done by myself. I needed help. Not just help, but someone who would believe me, believe that the world is not what it appears to be. Someone who would also sit down with me and help me process this metaphysical problem. We spoke at length after the session about what happened, which was just as helpful as the session itself, in my opinion. Lica is a very comforting presence, very capable, and fearless in her approach to what she does. I can’t thank her enough for her help, and the help she continued to give”.